Requiem for a Friend

Posted on by Larry

My email has been filled with such a sense of loss in recent days; a deeply loved member of the family died unexpectedly before their time.

“Such a loss.” “What a waste.” “So unnecessary.” “They will be missed.”

The words are well meant, but don’t assuage the hurt.

They are gone, and they’re never coming back.

– – –

It tears my heart to read emails from people who built their lives around something – only suddenly to discover it’s gone. What do you do when the center of your life is missing?

What can I possible say that will comfort them? Mere words seem so… inadequate.

– – –

The silence, after the fact, is deafening. No reassurance, no apology, no remorse. “Building for the future!” “Good times are still to come!” “Not really that important.” Phrases that ring insincere and hollow at this moment of pain. At the depth of what’s missing. At the depth of what’s been done.

How can you love again when your heart is missing?

– – –

Clearly, this is not a time to give up. To sink into the black oblivion of self-destructive what-ifs. There is still hope for the future – though at the moment it may be hard to see.

In two years, I’m sure, we’ll be past this. In two years, I’m sure, we’ll look back on this as a bad memory. In two years, I’m sure, we’ll say that things are better. But they won’t be the same.

Because we still need to live through the next two years.

– – –

When someone we love dies, we move on. We make new friends. And we discover those who have been with us a long time to whom we have not properly paid attention. We continue our lives, and attempt to rebuild.

But that does not deny the sadness, the anger, and the loss. Or the memories of what was.

And it was so unnecessary.


24 Responses to Requiem for a Friend

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  1. Micheil Reid says:


    I’ve already made a short movie for You Tube and FB using FCPX. It was a pretty good experience! While I did have problems using the share option, I also found a solution to that problem so I feel happier now, I feel I can use it for proper music videos (proper by my own standards that is) I reckon Apple will add updates and separate, downloadable Apps and probably other nice surprises that will ultimately make it the hottest editing program on the block! We’ll be wowed! My next test will be doing chroma keying. Haven’t done that yet in FCPX. Looks pretty fast from what I’ve seen on the web! I’m sure that one day will come and Apple will release another program that will gender the same re-action and everyone will say…’O when that happened with FCPX we soon forgot about it’s shortcomings because they fixed it and it was better than we hoped!’ I certainly hope it will be that way. Apple don’t want to lose the friends they’ve made over the years. Just trying to be optimistic!

    Micheil Reid.

  2. Mike Chapman says:

    Hey, Larry –

    Any reasonable, middle-aged editor, perhaps with an inch or two around the waist he’d like to lose and hair he’d like to regain, would be understandably upset when his editing “significant other” abruptly dumped him for someone younger. The shock and hurt are significant, doubly when “she” brightly says that “we can still be friends!” Ha. I have plenty of friends, but Apple is no longer one of ’em.

    What I wanted and needed was a platform I could grow old(er) with, perhaps retire with. Now it’s either put up with FCP-X and her new, Jolt-cola-swilling friends with their DSLRs, re-date Premiere and try to ignore the flakiness, or settle in with Avid, a stodgy bookworm with huge, thick glasses and the party instincts of a dorm mother. You keep wishing she’d get just a touch of freshness or hipness, but that’s not happening.

    And by the way – anyone out there who says that we’re complaining about nothing or that “we shouldn’t feel this way” – is in a different business from us. Enjoy your FCP-Lite; we professionals have been left high and dry by a company we liked and one we helped legitimize in the professional space. Our feelings are completely legitimate, and we’re entitled to them.

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