My email has been filled with such a sense of loss in recent days; a deeply loved member of the family died unexpectedly before their time.
“Such a loss.” “What a waste.” “So unnecessary.” “They will be missed.”
The words are well meant, but don’t assuage the hurt.
They are gone, and they’re never coming back.
– – –
It tears my heart to read emails from people who built their lives around something – only suddenly to discover it’s gone. What do you do when the center of your life is missing?
What can I possible say that will comfort them? Mere words seem so… inadequate.
– – –
The silence, after the fact, is deafening. No reassurance, no apology, no remorse. “Building for the future!” “Good times are still to come!” “Not really that important.” Phrases that ring insincere and hollow at this moment of pain. At the depth of what’s missing. At the depth of what’s been done.
How can you love again when your heart is missing?
– – –
Clearly, this is not a time to give up. To sink into the black oblivion of self-destructive what-ifs. There is still hope for the future – though at the moment it may be hard to see.
In two years, I’m sure, we’ll be past this. In two years, I’m sure, we’ll look back on this as a bad memory. In two years, I’m sure, we’ll say that things are better. But they won’t be the same.
Because we still need to live through the next two years.
– – –
When someone we love dies, we move on. We make new friends. And we discover those who have been with us a long time to whom we have not properly paid attention. We continue our lives, and attempt to rebuild.
But that does not deny the sadness, the anger, and the loss. Or the memories of what was.
And it was so unnecessary.
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